Pitch Q- Podium Finish

Podium Finish
YA
91,000

Query:

Podium Finish tells the story of three Olympic Training Center roommates Alex Abrams, Harper Kavanaugh, and Elena Valdez in the 20 months leading up to the Games.

Alex, a former World Junior Champion figure skater, who has recently moved up to the senior level, comes from a family of perfectionists. There’s only one problem. She’s ranked seventh in the nation at the senior level. When a new venue and new coach prove not to be the antidote and with her relationship with her boyfriend steadily imploding, Alex is faced with a choice: stay a singles skater or switch to ice dance.

Harper Kavanaugh is the youngest member of Team USA hockey. When she breaks her knee during practice, her world is turned upside down even more once she realizes that her crush from physical therapy likes her back. Now she not only has to worry about healing in time for the Games, but also has to worry about something she finds even more terrifying: her first kiss.

After mistakenly drinking a protein shake with a banned substance, Elena Valdez is banned form competition for a year. With the ban now up, Elena is sent to train in Colorado Springs with one of the world’s best and toughest ski coaches and is thrown back into the world that led her to her downfall. She’s determined to make a comeback, but redeeming herself won’t be easy, especially if fellow skiers have anything to say about it.

While going through their own individual struggles, the girls develop a friendship none of them expected would form when they first met.

First 150 words:

Elena

Citius, Altius, Fortius: who knew three little words in a dead language could mean so much, and yet, they meant everything to me. They meant revenge and redemption, hope and heartache, but most of all, they meant forgiveness, being mija, Papi’s little girl, again.

Famosa. Famous. I’ve wanted to be the first Latina to own the slopes at the Olympics since I was four. I even used to dream of seeing my face on a McDonald’s cup or a Wheaties box. I think I’ve got the famous thing down, too. Nothing screams fame more than having your face plastered on seven different tabloid covers and making the national news in three countries.

Some people might think there is no such thing as bad press, but when you’re a month shy of your sixteenth birthday representing America on your first-ever World Cup skiing circuit and you fail a drug test, the result is a blizzard of bad press.

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5 thoughts about "Pitch Q- Podium Finish"

  • Katie Teller says:

    For a start I would open with “Three Olympic Training Center roommates…”
    “her world is turned upside down even more once…” I’d chance the once to when.
    “Elena Valdez is banned form…” should be from 🙂
    Ok so, I think this needs to be simplified. Instead of talking about MC in great detail, talk about them in a sentence each and expand more on their common relationship. Having so many MC’s makes it hard to write a query, but I really think that last sentence should be the focal point and expanded on.
    Good luck!

  • Indigo says:

    First, make sure you proofread your query for spelling errors. In your query, don’t tell me what the story is, show me. The setup shows the story in a very disjointed way. You need to focus primarily on how their stories interconnect.

  • Writerlicious says:

    I actually think you sum up your story quite well with 3 MC’s! I do feel it was a bit repetitive though and could probably cut up to 3 sentences from it. I think you have a unique and intersting concept, but you need to turn your query into jacket-flap material so clear and exciting that it would be impossible to read your pitch and NOT want to read it! Use active verbs. Good luck!

  • Juliana says:

    I know you’ve probably heard this before and will probably roll your eyes, but have you tried writing your query from only one POV? Writing from multiple POV’s in a query really only works for romance. All you have to do, is focus on one of the story lines and at the end, write the sentence, ‘Podium Finish is written from each of the athlete’s points of view.’ Nice and easy.

    Please feel free to let me know if you need any other help with your pitch! And be sure to stop by today for the birthday giveaway 🙂

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