Tips on Query Writing

I critique a lot of queries. Query writing is relatively easy to learn and hone, and it’s one I’ve enjoyed working on over the years. Though I have an agent, I still write a query-pitch for all of my manuscripts. It helps focus me while drafting and revising, and what’s especially cool, is if you write a particularly good query…your agent might use part (or all!) of it in submissions to editors.

While critiquing queries, I’ve noticed there are similar mistakes people seem to make. This post is designed to address some of them.

*It should be noted that the best query advice (IMO) is Lauren Spiellers’s Query Checklist. I use a verysimilar format below for my query suggestions. Please go check her post out! (She knows more than I do, because she’s…you know, a really good agent.)*

A few notes:
-I typically work with fiction queries for MG, YA, and A categories. This post doesn’t address queries that are specific to PBs, memoirs, or nonfiction books.
-I suggest below a pitch that’s broken into two parts, though I’ve often seen (and have used!) a three-part pitch.
-Place all titles (yours & comparison novels) in capital letters.
-Be wary of introducing too many characters.
-Be wary of listing things that happen (ie: Red Riding Hood must trick the wolf, save her granny, and not stray from the path…). This is telling and would be much more interesting if “shown” in longer form in the query itself.
-Be wary of getting “fancy”. Plain writing and sticking to the regular query format often works best.
-Keep the entirety of the query to around 250-400 words total (350 is a better max, truthfully).

1. Intro

Include: one agent with correctly spelled name & why you’re querying them. This paragraph is not always necessary. Jumping straight into the pitch is a good choice too. I believe Query Shark suggests this.

Some phrases that might be helpful in this paragraph:
“I understand from your website/Manuscript Wish List/Twitter that are interested in XXX, so I am excited to share my manuscript, TITLE, with you.”

2. 1^st Half of Pitch

Include: main character’s name, normal life, deepest hopes, and inciting incident. The inciting incident is the event that kicks off your story and main conflict, ex: “Craving freedom (deepest hopes/needs) from her tedious chore-driven life (normal life), Red Riding Hood balks when her mother sends her to Granny’s house” and “testing the limits of her mother’s reach, Red Riding Hood strays from the path.”

Some phrases that might be helpful in this paragraph:

If you need help with the inciting incident sentence (“But…when…” sentences work well): “But when [exciting/terrible thing] happens, MC must [do something exciting/terrible that launches them into the story].” Ex: “But when Red Riding Hood strays from the path, she comes face-to-face with the legendary, terrifying Wolf.”

3. 2^nd Half of Pitch

Include: “meat” conflict, aka: the main conflict your MC deals with; any other major characters; and stakes, aka: what horrible thing will happen if the MC doesn’t achieve their goal.

Some phrases that might be helpful in this paragraph:

If you need help with the stakes sentence (“If…then…” sentences work well): “If [MC cannot defeat/win goal], then [awful thing that will happen].” Ex: “If Red Riding Hood cannot defeat the Wolf, Granny won’t be the only one to perish.”

Also in terms of stakes, do keep them relevant to character arc to ensure that they are impactful—that it impacts more than just plot. One way to do this is to look back at your “inciting incident” sentence and the “deepest hopes/needs” sentence (Red craves freedom & strays from the path because of it, wherein she meets the Wolf) and make sure that your stakes is tied back to that (“Red must stop the Wolf or risk the destruction of everything she holds dear–her granny and any chance at freedom.”)

4. Book Details

Include: category, genre, word count, comparison novels, and other book details

Some phrases that might be helpful in this paragraph:

If you need help including book details succinctly: “Complete at xx,000 words, TITLE is a CATEGORY & GENRE novel that will appeal to readers of COMPARISON NOVEL and SECOND COMPARISON NOVEL.” [Note: Comparison novels are important; they show you’ve done your research and know the category and genre you’re writing in.]

If your book has series potential: “Complete at xx,000 words, TITLE is a standalone novel with series potential.”

If you write from multiple points-of-view: “Told from multiple points-of-view, TITLE is complete at xx,000 words.” OR “Told from xx and xx’s points-of-view, TITLE is…”

5. Bio

Include: publishing details and what you do besides writing (job, hobbies, etc). If you don’t have any publishing details, that’s okay! Don’t get too bogged down here. The most important part of your query is the pitch for your book. Feel free to add something short and fun. Ie: “When not writing, I can be found crocheting bookmarks and concocting magical stews.”

Some phrases that might be helpful in this paragraph:

If you are seeing new agent-representation: “After an amicable split with my previous agent, I am currently seeking new representation.”

6. Sign off

Be kind. Be courteous. Remember the agent you’re querying is flooded with work. They’re incredible human beings who deserve our respect. Include in the sign off what you’ve attached in the query showing that you’ve done your research. Agents can request a few pages attached IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL to specific page amounts as an attachment, to the entire manuscript. They could also request synopsis. Be prepared for a variety and please follow their guidelines!

Some phrases that might be helpful in this paragraph:

“Per your submission guidelines, I’ve included XXX of my manuscript below, as well as XXX. Thank you for your time and consideration.”

• February 25th, 2018
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• 2 Comments


• Categories: Editing, Queries, Writing